August 10, 2011
Last week God taught me to have faith in people again. Now I am not some radical or zealous Bible-beating religious type, but I did grow up in and around church and on occasion contemplate how a situation may be used as a lesson from God.
I have always been a skeptic, cynical if you will. I am not sure how I came to be this way. It really isn't what my parents taught me, neither of them could be described as cynical. Quite the opposite in fact. And I was cynical long before moving to New York so that wasn't it either. In any case, it is part of who I am. I am not a negative person, I am quite positive, annoyingly so. My cynicism seems to be focused more on my faith in other human beings rather than my own abilities or God's. I have always looked at things as a glass half-full type of person. But usually when it came to others, my half-full glass ends up toppled over and spilled on the floor.
For instance my car troubles lately. My 3-year-old car is acting up for the third time in two months so Monday I take it to the unnamed dealership. They can take it but won't be able to look at it until Thursday and they have no loaners. As a spoiled American family of 4, we couldn't possibly live with only one vehicle for 4 days, so we have to rent a vehicle. When I call the unsaid dealership Thursday, no response. When I call Friday morning, no response. When I call Friday afternoon the main number and rant and rave and bitch and moan until someone gives me status of my car, I am told "I have to be honest, your paperwork was lost and your car hasn't been worked on. We probably won't be able to fix it until next week." Well considering it is Friday at 4pm, of course you can't. They did, however, produce a souped-up luxury loaner pronto after I reminded them I spent $200 on a rental which I wouldn't have even needed in the first place since they didn't work on my car! So Friday I exchange rental for loaner and went on my merry way.
Which brings us back to the lesson.
My kids are in sports and they both play competitively. Lily (who is 10) plays softball and basketball. This year, her first year of the competitive scene for softball, was tremendous. She very quickly decided she wanted to be a catcher. Which for a mom was fantastic - my thinking, slather as much gear on them so they don't get hurt. We purchased a catcher's mitt (because one really CAN'T catch a ball at home plate with just a regular mitt), face mask, chest protector, shin guards and, a few games into the season, knee-savers. This was quite an investment financially, considering she's 10 and wants to be a supermodel when she grows up (like next year). But Lily excelled through the spring season and became quite a good catcher. Shortly into the season Lily decided to expand her skills to pitching. We signed her up for some one-on-one pitching sessions and when it came to practicing at home, she bribed her little brother to catch for her.
Ethan (who is 7) plays baseball & basketball. And when the time comes he will play football (tackle not flag) because... "that's the only real type of football." His one season of flag football was not going to be repeated. Ethan also debuted this year in competitive baseball. Of course his favorite position became catcher because of all the time forced to catch for his sister and he also has turned into one fine catching machine. The last couple games of the season, Ethan asked if he could use Lily's catcher's gear for luck. Which as a mom, I thought was adorable. So he did and he had some great times catching in his sister's gear Monday night and then Thursday night, the last game of the season.
Sunday arrives and I go to church. Usually the clan comes with, but for many reasons that morning, it would just be me. I get a funny voicemail from my son and it went something like this:
"Hi. This is Ethan King. Would you by chance know where Lily's catcher gear is? We can't find it and Lily needs it for fall softball tryouts."
Let's not dwell on the obvious fact that my child doesn't think I will recognize him by his voice and has to use his full name in a message left for his mother. But I am at this point wondering why they can't find the gear since all the baseball/softball bags are in the garage. I put everything there when I emptied the rental to exchange for the souped-up luxury loaner. Didn't I? Of course I did - my husband and children are simply inept at finding anything. And yes, being honest, this was my first thought, so un-Christian.
Upon a gradually-frantic search of house and home and garage and jeep (the hubby's), the catcher's gear is no where to be found. I now begin to think maybe I had left it in the rental, which would have been virtually impossible since we had all the other stuff from the trunk and I just don't make mistakes like that. I called the company anyway and they were closed until Monday. I called Ethan's baseball coach hoping they had inadvertently put it in their equipment bag. No such luck. I knew we had to have left it at the ballfield. It was a chaotic night and we had lots to carry back to the car and it had must have been left - $150 down the drain.
My mind races at this point. I mean there's no way someone wouldn't have snagged the bag full of high-priced catcher's equipment, if nothing to sell it on the black market. Whether they were subscription-pill-popping socialites needing to get their next fix or down-and-out parents who just can't afford to don their kid with state-of-the-art gear, in my heart I knew it was gone. And I knew it was left behind because I am constantly pulling the slack for my family and getting over-extended - things are just slipping through the cracks. Again, so not Christian.
The lesson came as a phone call by my daughter Sunday at 12:05pm. "We found it." How? Where? My husband (cynical not) drove the 20 miles to the ballfield and there sits the bag in the corner of the dugout right where we had left it on Thursday. More than 4 days and a dozen games on that field and no one had swiped the gear. I was truly in awe.
What is the world coming to? With all the conflict and selfishness and "me" in the world, could it be that people really are good and honest and decent? Are there other parents out there swimming against the stream of social acceptance and compliance? Really, I'm not alone?
God smacked me a good one that day. There are plenty of people that are good and honest and decent in the world. And IF I am one of those good and honest and decent people, I have to confess that the cynical perspective of others and self-sacrificing perspective I have of myself doesn't jive. I am no more perfect or good than anyone else in this world. I mess up. I'm forgetful. I jump to the wrong conclusions about people. I make assumptions sometimes that people will do the wrong thing. And I don't always appreciate my family or the love I receive from them. God knew this about me and He used this life experience to teach me. It was a quiet revelation that only I understood, until, of course, I blog about it, opening up my soul to the world. But if I am truly honest, this open revelation is OK. Maybe there are others out there that have learned the same things as I. Maybe there are others out there that now recognize it and, like me, are trying harder each day to overcome it. Maybe I am not alone. Maybe God is teaching me to have faith in others, by teaching me first to have faith in myself. After all I can be good and honest and decent if I choose to be. So I can choose not to be a cynic too.
Comments