August 5, 2011
Yes I now have a blog. No idea really what I am going to write about or how often or the "why" of writing. I suppose it will be much like my own life, full of silly (and hopefully funny) marital and kid stories or venting rampages of my outrage and discontentment. I suppose I should start with the question that's almost always asked first, so "where ya from?"
I grew up in MANY places throughout my life. The first of which was the metropolis, Des Moines, IA. The oldest daughter of a school teacher and a nurse, my early childhood was best described as easy. I lived a couple of different places in the "big city." I remember the house with stucco on the outside (don't remember the address, somewhere in Beaverdale maybe), the house on Loomis behind Lincoln High, and the house in Pleasant Hill. We weren't poor or rich, just something in the middle, comfortable for the most part. Comfortable, until the divorce in 1985 and subsequent re-marriages of my parents adding much complexity to life. Divorce can do strange things to kids but for me it made me defiant about marriage. We had a rash of divorces throughout my family and friends' families in my pre-teen years (we're talking the 80's so you do the math). At the time, it seemed to me that for everyone who got married, the divorce was only imminent. I made a conscious decision at 13 that I would NEVER get married. If you don't marry, you can't get divorced right? Well that simplistic thinking will come back to play in another place.
The second place I called home, was a very small town, called Maxwell. No longer a little fish in a big pond, my big fish in a little pond attitude first isolated me as an outsider. I do have a couple of friends that I have stay connected with but overall, my time in the small town was a time for me to itch and yearn to leave it all behind. Sad to think that most of my growing up was here and at the time of it, I refused to acknowledge it as good or important. It took moving away to understand and come to love the nuances of small town life. And now I wish all people would have the privilege to spend part of their time living in a small town.
My third home was Iowa State University in Ames, IA. Back to being a little fish in a big pond, college life was exactly what I needed to rid myself of the small town blues, in nothing short of a slightly bigger town. I met my boyfriend (love of my life) the summer after my first year and when he graduated the following May, my life took a very different and unexpected turn.
Fourth on the list of homes was New York City. Following said boyfriend (love of my life) out of small town Iowa and to the real "Big City" was probably the best thing that I could have chosen, although my parents didn't believe that at the time. It was the first time my eyes were finally opened. The cultures, traditions, people, relationships and events during this time in my life would become a second layer of foundation to my soul. Life at that time was simple - work, shop, socialize with friends, sleep (not much though) and do it all over again, occasionally go to church or the Hamptons. I would yearn again for more - maybe some complexity, maybe just something different. And when children were discussed, my simplistic thinking and 13-year-old promise would be kicked out the door by my Christian values. So eventually my then-boyfriend (love of my life) would become my now-husband (love of my life).
This leads us to my current place called home. Back to the 'burbs of good ol' Des Moines, where it all started. After 8 years in New York, I really didn't believe that I would be able to (much less choose to) come back to Iowa. But I did, and for oh so many wonderful reasons. Most of them I am related to either by birth or marriage and two of them I gave birth to (although at the time of the decision, I hadn't been blessed with children yet).
Allowing my children to begin their lives where I began mine was a specific choice. I hope they grow to understand that the places we live help to shape us not because of the geography but because of the people and relationships we have along the way. So to me, a better way to phrase the question "Where ya from?" would be to ask "How'd ya get here?". That tells so much more.
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